Time Is A Mother-Fucker
Dreams don't usually happen the way you map them out. Wait, let me rephrase that. Dreams never happen the way you map them out.
I like to think that authentic, hard-ass work and a bursting amount of passion are the keys to achieving your dreams. And they are, they absolutely are. Consistency, dedication, always listening to what ignites your soul are everything. But there's one thing most of us, probably all of us, leave out in the all-knowing, dream-achieving equation:
Time is the unknown variable (x per say) in the equation for creating the life you want. Only Time knows when you'll get what you're after.
Ever heard of the saying, "Time doesn't care about dreams"? Well, it's BS. Time is the most important factor in the equation because it controls everything. Without it, the whole algorithm of life wouldn't work. Time cares, that's why it's there.
However, the trouble with Time is that it's the only thing in life we have absolutely no control over. That's why the end results are so hard to materialize and even believe.
Now, everyone has someone they look up to, the people who had your dreams growing up and are now living them. Did those people have passion? Did they work their assess off?
Did their success not happen overnight?
DING. DING. DING.
We're talking long hours, days, months, and years. But rarely do people talk about their lengthy journeys. We see our idols as they are now and completely disregard their life status at our current ages. We refuse to acknowledge their hardships. Today, the tools of social media make it harder to decipher people's weaknesses or setbacks because all we see is what they want us to see. But you know they have them. Like us, they too refuse to acknowledge them. They're human, we all are, and humans have grown accustomed to getting "likes". Not "dislike's" or "boohoo's". For all we know, the "thumbs-down" button may never appear on our Facebook's.
It's all about immediate gratification. Our minds want things now. But, Time would say otherwise. The pay-off is not that easy to put in your immediate favor.
Time is a mother-fucker, but it knows what its doing.
Humans just have the hardest time trusting it. We want to see before we believe. But true gratification and success is, I hate to say it, about believing before seeing.
But who am I to whip out all of these words like I'm a seventy-fucking-three year old woman and has just retired from working forty years?
Needless to say, I am still a human who is in a constant battle with Time. Somedays I believe, somedays I feel like a hollow rock, sinking into nothing, empty as hell. And I have dreams. One in particular I work on every, single day, whether I'm in the studio, on a run, thinking of motivational tools while driving here and there, creating seamless playlists, and making the most amazing connections and constantly putting myself out there. Hard work coupled with a passion I hold so near and dear to my heart. One that made me realize my purpose, stemming from the moment I was bullied and made to feel less than because of my weight growing up. I know this is what I'm supposed to do.
Just recently I thought I was coming up on the peak of my dream. I was sure I learned everything I needed to know, did everything right, and was ready to get what I worked for. But turns out Time decided to make my mountain a little bigger, receiving a "no" I simply wasn't expecting. To be honest, it felt like a punishment, adding on more time to my journey because God forbid, "I'm just not ready" or "It's not meant to be". My biggest passion, the thing I devote all of my physical and mental energy to, turning around and using that same energy to slap me right in the face. That's what it feels like.
Nonetheless, a very, very, very wise mentor, sister, goddess came to my rescue with some sort of answer I was looking for:
"It's not rejection, it's redirection."
The way that I knew and truly believed in to achieve my dreams doesn't exist and never has. I ignored the fact that Time is in control and makes the map. This is what I mean by believing before seeing. No one knows what lies ahead. We're blindly led up our own mountains, trusting in a metaphysical, unknown part of an algorithm that's supposed to work to achieve success.
For now and for the future, I'll do what humans always do. Keep going.
I'll use what I have, my consistency, drive, absolute love for this purpose of mine, and my belief in this unexpected change. Because may someday change come again, and I'll finally reach the top of my mountain. Looking down, realizing why I needed to climb higher.